tammyjoymccrea's blog

Trying it on for size

This morning Oliver walked into my room wearing only his boxers and a whistle/compass around his neck.

"I could really piss the birds out with this."

"Excuse me?"

At this point he just gave me a funny look. Me : "Did you just say you could piss the birds out with that?"

"I mean I could make them really angry."

"Now that's more like it."

I'm in the mood for cooking today. I think it is all the cool, rainy weather we've been having lately. I'm broke and my fridge is nearly empty, but it's amazing what I can pull out of an empty fridge.

O was in the the mood for crepes.

crepe crepe

Then I spotted this crazy yogurt maker I had bought secondhand for three bucks at the beginning of the summer. I had a full gallon of milk and some plain yogurt stuck in the back of the fridge.

Warm the milk.

Mix it with 2 T of plain yogurt.

Put the mixture in the individual cups.

Keep it warm and wait around for 10 hours or so.

Disclaimer: I do not have a means of optimizing my photos right now. Yes, they are a bit slow to load. But stick around and I'll get it done sooner or later. Thanks.

Hiking and swimming at Cultus Lake, BC

Cultus Lake is known for its great waterslides and a lake that supports a huge number of recreational activities during the warm summer months (drunk and scantily clad people in powerboats). It is home to many established campsites, beaches, restaurants, and - from what I've heard - really great ice cream. The lake is contained within 656-hectare Cultus Lake Provincial Park.

On Monday (a civic holiday here), our plan was to take a hike up to Sumas Mountain in Abbotsford. That was a no-go as the trail we were trying to access -- the Centennial Trail to Chadsey (Lost) Lake via the Barrowtown Pump Station -- was closed. Neither of us had directions to get to any of the other trailheads to Mt. Sumas, so we drove out to Cultus to see what kind of hiking we could find there.

After grabbing a quick bite to eat at Beethoven's Pizza in Cultus (pork rib pizza, yum!), it was already 1:30 in the afternoon, so we figured we'd find a quick hike and spend the rest of the afternoon swimming and playing on the beach. We had stopped at the tourist centre and picked up a map of all the amenities and trails in the park. We opted for Teapot Hill, a 5k round trip with a gain of 280 meters, figuring that by the time we were finished the kids would be raring to get in the water (the temperature was hovering right around 30 degrees).

The trail was standard fare for a west coast designated hiking trail: well-maintained and beautiful. Growing up in Colorado I learned to appreciate the beauty of semi-arid terrain, but it is much more subtle than the lush green-ness of the Pacific Northwest. Our map said this is the most popular hike in the park, but there was not a lot of traffic. Maybe it was the heat and people were just more interested in being in the water.

There are two lookouts at the summit: one over the lake, the other over the valley. We could tell it was a three-day weekend by all the noise and activity going on below.

Lake view from Teapot Hill Cultus Lake Provincial Park.

Valley view from Teapot Hill Cultus Lake Provincial Park.

O found a great Ammonite fossil at the beginning of the hike.

(picture)

Polish this day off with a dip in the lake, and call it a success!

Girls jumping into the lake.

Self discipline: getting out of your own way

I used to view exercising self discipline as being akin to lifting a heavy weight. Lately I have come to the realization that it is more of a stepping aside, a process of getting out of one's own way. Discover what is in your way – what is mentally or emotionally blocking you from proceeding forward - and move past it.

For some time I have been somewhat obsessed with having a “career”, i.e., some occupation that any outsider would look at and deem a career. Even though I have successfully managed to obtain a university degree, find my soulmate (soulmate: one who acts as a mirror to my soul), and am in the process of raising two healthy children, my life seems not complete without this nebulous “career” element.

My husband Rob has been the sole individual behind a fledgling hi-tech business for the past several years. He has managed to build – from scratch – a business that will very soon become profitable. During the course of this building, he has sought out support in the form of business coaching and e-mything. Anything to assist him in proceduralizing his business to allow it to grow.

Recently our friend Bee (one of those coaching him in business matters) "called me out" and told me I had not really been supporting Rob. She did this in the nicest way possible – over lunch, and only in the spirit of wanting to help. Nonetheless, there it was – I was not supporting my husband in the biggest endeavor of his life. Instead of bristling and struggling against it, I had to thank her for calling me out. This is a burden i have been carrying around with me since the beginning. You see, I was raised by parents who believed (and still believe) that a job is not something you enjoy. It is merely something you DO. It pays the bills, you don't like it for the love of God, and hey – you should feel lucky just to be employed in this day and age – right? Internally I have fought against this notion. I am the first in my family to go through university – surely things are different for me. I like the thought of following your heart, of forging you own path, of CREATING your life, rather than just participating in it. So why can't I get with Rob's vision? He has vision; I think,"just get a job”. I want stability, I want 9 to 5 – or do I? That is my neverending battle, and that is at the centre of getting in my own way.

After Bee and I had finished lunch, I went about the rest of my day with an emotional hangover. Something has got to change, I thought. If I keep along this path I will get what I have always gotten, and this is certainly not where I want to be.

For the next week I decided to focus solely on supporting Rob, and supporting myself in the meantime. Supporting Rob – what did that look like? Well, a while ago it dawned on me that all my man (and probably most men for that matter) really needed to be happy was good food and sex. That old adage about the way to a man's heart being through his stomach is in fact only part of the story. So I tried to make sure his needs were met in those areas. But more than being a strictly physical support, I found that it was really a slight tweaking of the mentality behind the actions. What can I do to nourish him, to loosen and fortify his foundation to allow him to grow? And once I started thinking from this perspective, my feelings changed from despair to inspiration, and this led to a change in my actions. And he felt it. The beauty behind all of this is that it was so wonderfully subtle that neither of us could put our finger on what had actually changed.

Let me be clear – in order to support and nurture Rob, I needed to suport and nuture myself. During that first experimental week I decided to cut myself some slack and relax. Being of the Puritan mindset, I typically don't like to do anyhting that might be perceived as “sitting around”. But that week, I did sit around. I read, I took baths, I exercised, I ate well. I bought my first e-book: Burn the Fat, Feed the Muscle (but that is a topic for another day!). I even released myself from cruising online job postings. And I felt something beginning to stir inside. MAYBE there is another way – maybe finding my path does not have to involve struggle. MAYBE I just need to get out of my own way.

13 Virtues

Benjamin Franklin established this list of virtues for himself when he was 20 years old. He compiled them based on his belief that it is more beneficial to base your actions on principle than dogma.

TEMPERANCE. Eat not to dullness; drink not to elevation.
SILENCE. Speak not but what may benefit others or yourself; avoid trifling conversation.
ORDER. Let all your things have their places; let each part of your business have its time.
RESOLUTION. Resolve to perform what you ought; perform without fail what you resolve.
FRUGALITY. Make no expense but to do good to others or yourself; i.e., waste nothing.
INDUSTRY. Lose no time; be always employ'd in something useful; cut off all unnecessary actions.
SINCERITY. Use no hurtful deceit; think innocently and justly, and, if you speak, speak accordingly.
JUSTICE. Wrong none by doing injuries, or omitting the benefits that are your duty.
MODERATION. Avoid extreams; forbear resenting injuries so much as you think they deserve.
CLEANLINESS. Tolerate no uncleanliness in body, cloaths, or habitation.
TRANQUILLITY. Be not disturbed at trifles, or at accidents common or unavoidable.
CHASTITY. Rarely use venery but for health or offspring, never to dulness, weakness, or the injury of your own or another's peace or reputation.
HUMILITY. Imitate Jesus and Socrates.

See also: Franklin Virtue Chart, at D*I*Y Planner.

Changes

I have been thinking so much about the idea of experiments - I might consider myself a tad obsessed with the idea. I think it started a while back when I hooked onto Personal Development for Smart People. From there it was a logical jump to Zen Habits. This eve I came across the Brown Dress Experiment; this afternoon I was listening to a podcast that mentioned this guy, Ian Usher, auctioning his life on ebay. I particularly enjoyed it when the host asked him how much money he anticipated receiving from this auction, and his reply that you really don't have an idea of what something might be worth until you attempt to sell it.

I appreciate Ian's courage. Sometimes you need a fresh start. We get so bogged down with emotional baggage that is tied up in objects around us that we just need to clear the crap.

Clear the crap - physical and emotional - that is my mission. Living with three kids is a guarantee that one must filter a fair amount of "stuff" coming in. I have been through most of the rooms and closets in the house to get rid of anything we don't need. Boxes of VHS? Gone. Outgrown clothing, toys, books that won't be read? Gone. I find my self going through this purging cycle on a regular basis, but to be successful I have to be in a frame of mind where I don't equate getting rid of things with lack or guilt.

While it may not seem like a lofty goal for some, my need for simplicity is more complex than it seems. First, I have recently cut off contact with certain members of my family. This leads to a freedom that I have experienced only at other major turning points in my life. I am free to be who I am! I have energy and zest for life. I am seeing options for myself that I have not seen before.

Second, this is my nature. For years I have been denying myself the honour of being who I am. Thinking I was silly or odd somehow to require simplicity in my life.

Third, I am done putting energy into things that fritter my time away. I will decide what areas of my life require attention, and put it there. By freeing up my workload at home, I 'll have more time to accomplish other things. I am ready to bring the family into the fold and make this a team effort. And that will benefit everybody.

experiment

House Therapy, Part One (cont'd.)

I find it somewhat ironic that I chose to post yesterday about my house therapy. Today I got a knock on my door. It was the landlord, close to sobbing, telling me that she and her husband need the house back. I guess that is the Universe's nudge...

home

House Therapy, Part One

A couple of posts back I mentioned the idea of a life experiment. I like the thought of changing something and observing the results. I am always on a quest for self-improvement. It gets tiring, but I can't help it!

As a result I have been re-arranging some things in my life. Right now, it is my house. Yes, I've been physically rearranging, but I am also working to release some of the stuck energy here. Lest that seem too "woo-woo" for you, let me explain.

I've been renting this place for roughly three years. Three years... and I haven't settled in. I ask myself, how did I end up in such a non-place in such a non-town? Not urban or rural; not big or small; not here or there. And though it is difficult to admit it, it is all my responsibility. It is purely because I didn't have a vision for what I wanted. So my goal now is to develop a vision.

On the way to defining what I want, it is important that I come to terms with where I am. With my house, that translates to making a it place where I am comfortable. That means un-sticking the front door, painting the walls, fixing the faucets, and settling in. It means setting up my home so I can comfortably do the things I want to do. It is about not whiling away my time here until something better comes along. Nope, I've done that before, and I can see where it's gotten me.

I have already made a lot of progress. I've painted over most of the garish green walls with much warmer colors. And although I would love to implement a sort-of organic-industrial theme, it just isn't happening in this house. That's okay.

As cliche as it may seem, I purchased the book:

which is amazingly enlightening and empowering. I need the validation that I am not being superficial by thinking about the decor/arrangement/style of my home. On top of that, this is a hands-on book that helps guide you to discover what you really want for your space, and how to get that. I am on week one, behind schedule with the folks on the Apartment Therapy website. Stay tuned for photos.